Baby Names... Yeah, you know where this is going...

(All my multi-racial readers, I say black people, but this does apply to ANYONE who's thinking of naming their kid some fool-fool kinda name.)

So get this... I return from walking my dog, and notice a birthday invitation sitting on the kitchen table. "Oh, neat !" say I, "Someone's birthday party is coming up !" Though the card is obviously meant for one of my younger brothers, curiosity leads me to read further, to find out who'll be relieving me from babysitting duties for an afternoon.

Guess whose party Alex will be attending... Rakayyah's.

Black people, WHY must we, as a culture at large, name our children in such a way that will likely limit the kid's ability to gain respect from peers and/or authoritative figures ? And don't give me that "It's not JUST black people" crap, because you and I both know you can name like 10 black people on your Facebook whose names make you want to question their parents' sobriety, at the time of their birth. Like, just because something sounds cool in your head, does NOT mean you can just sentence your offspring to life as Tamianique. Like, these names have got to stop; they're just this weird paradox of being completely random, yet following a set pattern. If you hear a nice name, DO NOT just add -iesha, -nelle, -ique/iqua, -ayla/ayah, or -tavia, and call it original. In fact, the fact that I can pick out those suffixes means that they are rather run-of-the-mill. And can we let go of the names Jordan, Jermaine, Jamal, Tyrone, and Jerome, please ? And for the love of GOD, no food references. Let's move away from stereotypes, wherever possible. I'm not saying don't be creative; in fact, DO be creative. But use your creativity to create a name that won't get your kid's resume thrown directly in the recycling bin. Go to a different language(provided you're willing to learn to pronounce the names of that language correctly), find a book/Tv show character whose qualities you'd like to see in your offspring, find namey-sounding words that carry some power behind them, like Harmony, or Melody, or Hope, or Faith. THINK about it.


Really, our kids deserve better than these fool-fool names. It's already hard enough to be black in this society; let's make it a little easier on the next generation, shall we ? ESPECIALLY if you KNOW the name doesn't mean a damn thing. Like, that's serious; what you name your kid is supposed to have to do with your expectations for that kid's LIFE. If you name your child Trey-shawn, in honour of your homie Trey, who's doing time for larceny, and your uncle Shawn, who's your favourite uncle because he's always drunk and thus makes family reunions HILARIOUS, THAT is the meaning that you're attaching to that name. It's like telling your unborn son "Yo, little dude... I honestly don't expect you to amount to a whole lot... Well, not enough for me to stop and think of a name that sounds like that of a successful person, anyways."

I'm not insulting YOU, if you have one of the aforementioned LOL-worthy names; it's not like you named yourself. So, don't feel a way. Just don't go naming your kid Dru'kwon Jr. I'd love for petty things like this not to matter, and for people to be judged on their personalities, and not just their names, races, or economic classes. But, we live in a crappy world, where crappy people get to do as they please for crappy reasons. So, stick it to the man; make it harder to discriminate, before they can even look them in the face.

Peace In, Peace Out.